This thought has be occupying my mind for a while now.Does it have ever come across ones mind that one day they will be someone influential.Someone who's good at art.Someone who's talented enough to create music etc.Conclusion become who they are today.It difficult to summarise into words what i want to say  but this the closest that i can.

it’s been a while

it’s been a while since i last post on this blog of mine.we’re already on the year of 2022.may i be able to dedicate myself on writing in this blog w/o…welcome back my dear self.

dear diary,

have you ever feel this vast of emptiness inside of your heart.
the feeling of whereby you want to shout but you just cant.
you just want to cry but you just can't.
so you just keep it bundle inside.
curl up in a bundle in the corner of your heart.
 or have you feel those tears running down those cheek.catching yourself staring long outside the window.with emptiness inside your heart.
and you can feel this feeling inside of your throat.the feeling of when you want to cry but you have to hold back the tears for the smile that everyone wants to see.
if only you knew.
if only you knew.
if only you knew.
if you only just knew.
Oh Allah,help this girl who has just became a slave to love.
O'Allah,help me to heal this broken heart.
O'Allah help me to keep this heart strong.
O'Allah help me to love you, only you,the creator of all souls.
Because I know,when everything came crashing you will provide me with all the warmth and reminds me that everything will be ok despite me disobeying and forgetting you in the past.
O'Allah thank you for always being there.
And I know Allah you will never break this little heart of mine.
Thank you for reminding me.,
Thank you for reminding me to step back into reality.

with lots of love

Just a random thought

Just a random thought

                                        ♥

Have you ever feel that your thoughts on a certain issues is useless.Constant debates that end up with you losing, though it is correct (and i am not just saying this to conclude that i am correct).Debates that end up with me having to raise up my voice or debates that ends up with me having to just let the person know that he/she wins the debate just for the sake to make him/her happy or satisfied.

I feel so useless sometimes.I feel that all my thoughts are gone unappreciated.It sometimes sort of lower down my self esteem and me feel that all this while,well i am just useless.And i know i am not because i believe that Allah s.w.t create everyone to be useful.

I am not writing this just to say that "ohhh...i am a better muslim and you better follow this or else you will be burn in hell fire...etc..."

I will not say anything unless i have a fact to support me.Unless i have something to support my statement.

Why can't some people just understand this.I feel like they are denying what i have just said just to make them feel better.And i am saying this not to offend anyone but just because i have been keeping it deep inside and it have been eating me up.

Just so you know,you know who you are,community changes.And they lack of understanding of some things.Just simple things that we as a muslim need to know.I,myself, am not a perfect muslim.But i seriously HATE it..did i need to emphasize more?HATE it when people use the term,oh my uncle is an ustaz and he is doing this and this...and what he do MUST be correct just because he/she is an ustaz and ustazah.Or use any other term just to prove his statement is correct.

I am tired.I am tired of all this.Must we follow everything that people do.Like "oh,you jump,i jump".I have my own way of life and i am sure you have your own way of life.I just don't know how to explain this to you.

Sometimes i feel like you make me feel like a 'kuno' person.Because wanting to follow something that is wajib.And you disagree.And saying things that maybe without you realisng hurt me.Hurt me very deep,deep inside.Only Allah knows how i feel.I feel like i am in an never ending war without you.Can't you just for once agree to what i have said.

Sebab rezeki,bukan kita yang tentukan even though we both work to support ourselves in this expensive country.I just don't know what to say.I want to give up.

But something inside me just keep pushing me on and i don't know why.

Oh may Allah help us both.

Amiin.Ya rabbal-alamin.

Goodbyes and farewell.

♥

Assalamualaikum

Oh yeah.Well Hi!

Life have been busy,hectic.Hardly have any time for myself nowadays except on Saturday and Sundays.

And those Saturdays and Sundays just choose to past by so quickly.

This is what they call working life don't they.Everyday the same routine.

How i miss lying down flat on my bed,staring up on the ceiling and worry about practically nothing.

Those days are gone.Long gone.

I just wish to have a long getaway,far away from here....2 weeks..3 weeks...pretty please.

So for work,it had been almost 5 months alhamdulillah.Hectic,fun,undesribable and some more unexplain words to explain this work of mine.

And as of today,i lost my partner.My 10-7pm partner.The one who take the same bus as me...To and fro work...Can you just not go...

Have a great career ahead at the new place my dear friend.May Allah bless you and your new workplace.

Oh how painful goodbye is.

I just hate goodbyes.And i am sure you do too...:'((

Just too emotional to write anything here.Oklah.

Bye.

Assalamualaikum readers.

Updates and updates

♥

Assalamualaikum
So,writing(while swiping off the dust and spider webs)of this blog of mine as someone had mention this blog has been dead for a super long time.
Just updating some major events that had happen.
1.No longer schooling.
2.Working.Yes.And i couldn't be more happier and blessed.
Schooling.Shall not elaborate on why i am not schooling anymore.And some will know why.
Working.
My working life.As an Full-time Assistant Childcare teacher.At PPIS.A muslim organization which allows me to perform my duties as a muslim.All this thanks to Allah.Could't feel more bless and thankful.Everything happens for a reason,and i think this is the reason why i am schooling no more.
Imagine,my childhood career.Since 7 years old.Now 13 years later.
Will hold to my mum countless non-stop USEFUL advise.Thanks mama.I really need it.Insya-allah i will hold on to it.With the start of this job,i can see my future more clearly now.No more blurry visions.
Finally,an objective in live.I feel more like an adult.(Cheyy...HAHA!)
My future is slowly shaping.Insya-allah.God willing.
***
So,its been almost 3 weeks.Alhamdulillah,the people there were friendly.And the kids!How can i not stop talking about them.My babies.My daughters.My sons.As much tantrum they can throw,at the end of the day,they were the reason for the smiles on my face.
My favourite boy:Daney
My favourite girl:Dina,-the twins(Sakeena,Sofeeyah)
Feeling bad for having favourites but they were among the cutest of the cutest!
***
Been sick for 4 days straight.Half day yesterday and MC today.
No voice coming out for this few days.Constant dry cough which results in pain in my lower abdomen and chest.And this have drain the energy out of me.
***
Regardless,tomorrow will be attending work.Cause there will be a fire evacuation exercise.
Can't wait to see the reaction of the kids tomorrow when the fire drill alarm went off.

That's all for today's post.:)
Giving my love out to all of you.
Assalamualaikum.

O'Allah

♥

When people start questioning,doubting.

I stood by to defend.Going to the extend of lying.

But she knows.

The heart stood strong.But it is growing weaker by day.

Is it able to withstand all the pain.

Self-inflicted pain.

Is lying to myself worth it.

Is waiting for the change worth it.

I'm sure God knows.

And i hope that,that day will arrive soon.

For now,all i that am holding on to is faith and believe that HE knows the best for me.

O'Allah,strengthen this heart of mine.Cause you are the only one who understood what ordeal i'm going throught right now.

♥

Holiday and ramblings.

Monday.
The day the prophet is born.So there must not be any monday blues whatsoever...cause it is a good day.No matter how much of a bad day monday is,it is still a good day.Make sense no?
Today school officially start.And i woke up late.Due to my forgetfulness to set an alarm.Luckily,mum woke me up.And as usual.Getting a scolding.-.-
Still in a holiday mood.
Seriously,I  just want to be a kampong girl.Lead a normal kampong life.Chase the chicken.Do what any 'anak dara' kampong would do.Oh god.If only life was like that.My life would be STRESS free.Chasing chicken for the guys.Masak-masak.Can't deny that no matter where you put me,i would still love kampong life.Its in my blood.Both sides of my grandparents are malaysians.Only that,on my dad side,they came to S'pore and change their citizenship.Still i'm a PURE blood kampong girl.And i'm proud to proclaimed that.
Holiday was great.Beyond great if there is ever such a word.Mashallah,Subhanallah is all i can say...
Dad was already planning on going to Kedah for a homestay and then go to Langkawi via either aeroplane or bus.Was asked to start saving from now.Oh yes i will.I love my dad.Haha...
Skipping that,can't wait for my lenses and scarf to arrive at any moment this week.Heee...:D
Watch me on tv tonight.RTM 1.Anjung Bestari.9.30pm.Spot me.
Salam...♥♥♥

My family.Missing nek wati and wak.:'(

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Wet Sunday Morning

Hello once again...:)
Well,woke up with a wet morning...Thus,the temptation to just stay stay in bed and curl like one fishball on the corner of the bed till tomorrow.
Yesterday,i end the night by watching a horror movie with my siblings and cousin.Boy,it scares me and the siblings like hell...But for my 14 year-old cousin who didn't brought her spectacle watch it by sitting near the television and I notice not one bit did she attempt run away for her life or close her eyes or talk as much as i am to avoid listening to the sound effect.Salute to her.Cause i tell ya,if it was just me and my siblings we would have ran away and change channels or continue watching but hugging each other like crazy or we would just switch off the television and the outcome of us watching horror movies would be irritating.Love horror,but each of us am a "scaredy cat". -.-
Skipping that,i while watching the horror movie and trying to avoid it at the same time,was bloghopping at my current favourite facebook 'shop?' title pamperdesire which sells contact lenses from korea.
I broke my blogshopping 'virginity' there..It was all due to the cute and cheap lenses that it offers.Am waiting for my lenses to arrive right now...The seller,Nellie,am such a friendly and sweet person!offers great service.Very prompt in replying sms-es and emails....
Talking about great services reminded me about school...Topics we used to cover.Haiyoh...Tsk!
Venturing into a new topic,my dad's guppy just lay and egg!it was a bunch full of them and it left goosebump everytime i talk about it cause the egg will be sticking on the fish tank wall.And all i see will be many transparent circles eggs.But one thing i hate is,one of the guppy keep eating eating those eggs!Very the geram lah teramat sangat...Ish....Hoping i can see a new generation of guppies on the fish tank...And the female guppy is still pregnant!i think so...everyone thinks so...due to the 'buncit-ness' of her tummy/belly...
Enough of that,my belly are hungry..TOodles...And have a great Sunday insya-allah...:)
2 more days!
Salam...♥♥♥

Bismillah..Let's start....

Hello there!Assalamualaikum..
Well..this dusty blog of mine should really be updated after 2 months of ignorance.
Typical laziness to update the blog due to the boring topics that i post which i found personally not attractive enough which i thought was due to the fact  that i run out of topics to talk about.
After some mini soul-searching,decided to share with all of you whats going on daily,on Nadhirah Bte Rahmat life.
Topics to be talk about are already on my head.And i hope i don't forget about what to right tomorrow since i found myself being a 'peluper' lately...
Blame it all on school which i may say last time...But i think i have myself to be blame for all the happenings on my life right now.
Signing off with kisses and huggies.♥
Salam to all my muslim readers...