Saturday 29 December 2007

bad day ahead...

my mum had been treating me like a maid by asking me to wash the dishes all the time..she is taking advantage of me and i would like to run from my home which is now like a hell to me with i trap in helplessly with no where to go...that bloody biatch had been making my temperature rising...i feel like bursting already....somebody please help me..i am in need of desperate help and i want to get away from my mom as far as possible....the faster the better for the meantime as my relationship with her this few days had not been good...she is making my life worse right now....my cuzin is going through the same fate as me...i pity US!!!i want to go to the gym but she ignores me and says i don't need to and my sis say i am too thin to go for exercise...like DUHH!!!!!excuse me...you don't have to be fat in order to go to the gym...is there such a rule that stated ONLY FAT PEOPLE CAN GO THE GYM???hmmm....let me think...i guess NOT??YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME SO YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!!for your information people go to the gym to keep their body healthy regardless of what body size so as not to do it excessively....and here comes the good part...my mom think that i want to go the gym only because i want to follow my cuzens footsteps....URRGH!!!HOW WORSE COULD IT BE!!I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE!!!I'M SICK OF YOUR RULES!AND FOR YOUR INFROMATION I AM ALREADY 16 NOT 6!!!WHEN YOU CAN ORDER PEOPLE AROUND....

this morning my dad and my mom accompany my sis to bukit panjang polyclinic and her wound is somewhat better..her wound had been treated but she need constant treatment...she is also diagnosed with hand,foot and mouth disease probably because she need to go for further check-up this monday...i thought only kids get that disease and that thought is bothering me....my mom had been spoiling my sis by doing things for her while i had to do the FUCKING housework....

aniwae.i'm suppose to return magazine on 27/12 but i've been lazy to go out....i am in need of absolute peace which i gladly CAN'T!!I want to repeat once again what a bad month december is to me except for the trip to village....just can't wait for '08 to come....hoping for a good year....(hopefully)i will give more info on what i crave for and hoping to fulfill in the next post....

totally in frustration

i am so mad right now i feel like i am going to need to kick someone ass and smack his head right off...this is how mad i am right now...i'm in no mood to joke watsoever and i am going berseck!!!ohkaes straight to the point...my sis SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!!oh what a relief after saying that.....(sigh)i feel like shouting,screaming and do any other unimaginable stuff right now...oh what does she think she is..i noe you are sick but you don't have to order people around making things worse and making others crazy....now i feel like i am not going to help you whatsoever again...OH NO YOU DON'T!!!!don't even think about it young lady....i know you are sick but i am growing tired out of this...with i doing all your chores...i'm tired...you know what does that mean or you need me to help you define that word?i guess you don't right??don't expect me to buy your books for you as i am not your maid...ask someone else to do it for you...i am not..i repeat not in a G.O.O.D M.O.O.D....all thanks to YOU!!!YEAH YOU!!!AND THAT YOUR IRRITATING CUZIN OF YOURS NOT MINE(as i proclaim,though i am ashamed to admit that she is my cuzin) WHO CAN'T STOP BUGGING YOU AND YOU KNOW WHAT!!SHE SUCKS BIG TIME TOO!!IN FACT SHE SUCKS MORE THAN YOU!!!!YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?IT IS BECAUSE YOU SPOIL THAT BLOODY ASS TOO MUCH!!!!GET IT!!!!!AND BECAUSE OF HER, YOUR LEG HAS BECOME AS PRESENT...and mum doesn't stop her L.A.M.E joke...by taking pictures of your burnt wound and after that saying that it is other pic and when i see it,it is your wound and i can't seem to notice that coming and i always fall to her L.A.M.E joke....i am growing tired of that....

oh what a relief....i feel good...i feel so good right now and there is no words which can describe it...i know i may seem bad but you must think of others to...

Friday 28 December 2007

december

my life has been dull this few days all because of my sis leg...i had been trapped in my house like foreva...only just now i went out for job hunting with my cousins with no luck at all since it is christmas...will wait till cny come then we will go job hunting again together......

its such a bore stuck at home with no where to go...this week is like the most fucking days of my life cause my mum don't have the heart to leave my sis alone whose thigh had been accidentally burnt when she go off the wrong side of the motorcylce few days ago at our village....

she had been rather annoying and irritating...i feel sorry for my mom,my small sis,my small bro and myself cause we all had to be a maid to her by helping her and listening orders from her....i'm like so PISSED OFF!!!!i've been evil at her by teasing the way she walk and laughing by heads off though i know its bad...but i can't take it...pity her though....and she is always scolding me for my bad behaviour as i had been complaining non-stop about being stuck at home all the time and sulking and shouting and screaming my heads off....

my life these days had been nothing but watching what the tv programmes had to offer...helping my business enthusiastic mum rolling the newspaper to make basket and what-so-ever and listening to little siblings ANNOYING shouting,crying,screaming and non-stop fight thoroughout the days which makes my head go crazy.....

THIS!!!is like my most annoying and boring month of the year with the non-stop rain because of the moonsoon month...and we had to stay at home and can do nothing other than wishing it would stop....

can't wait for next year though...hoping to have a good year ahead....i have cut my hair and finally got the green light to dye my hair..my lil sis and i dye our hair already...i want to start afresh with a "new life,new beginning" vision....

Friday 7 December 2007

mad

i donnoe why but i am noticing myself scolding others lately...my cousins had come over to my house for a few days and the house become like a childcare centre....there is noise all day long with all the shouting done by my beloved cousin....

things had not been so well this day...i am like a battleship ready to strike my mum anytime.i am giving her the silent treatment and yesterday she went berseck with and pick a fuss out of me over some issues.it is the same issues regarding food.it is up to me whether i want to eat or not.and she kept repeating the same HURTFUL sentences...and i was like standing there...piss off with her while she kept making noise to me...in my heart i am already cursing her stuff like "just shut up your $%#*& mouth and stop complaining....!!!!!!!i know i am not perfect...and if u hate me just let me die" sort of thing....i so HATE her sometimes....


she is also a complete...i repeat COMPLETE LIAR!!!she says she is gonna dye my hair for me...but guess what?as usual she don't dye my hair for me and completely ignore me when i ask her to do my hair for me....i'm so piss off and my patience is wearing thin and i can explode anytime...and guess what???just now...a few minutes ago she ask me to cook....how can she????urrrghh!!!!i feel like crying already....


my cousins which come over was alright...though my primary 2 cousin keep demanding me to do something for her....i am so pissed off with her sometimes but i love her...she is also can be quite stubborn too sometimes....but fara...shes like a total westerner kid.she,like me,don't like to eat rice.the day before she eat 5 plates off spagetthi noodle.but she manage to stay slim.and i forgot to mention tough.she is soooo like me...but she is an athele though liket o run about and is so hyperactive.


my other favourite cousin which is in australia will be coming home tom i guess.so miss them....can't wait to see what sourveneir they migh gave me and the scrapbook my cuz aisyah had promise...if she remember lah.


here are some photos of me and my cuz camwhoring inside my bedroom.for the past few days my sis had been sleeping with me and cuzin cause she is scared as my cuz keep shouting lantai 13!!!lantai 13!!!hahax:)miss them already..and my mum had promise to go to swimming pool together tom if it doesn't rain in woodlands swimming complex.








Friday 23 November 2007

in just a few short minutes i am going to go to my cuzens house as they are going to visit their cuzens in australia tom....buy some present for their cuzens in australia which consist of heart necklace which i buy in chameleon....i am like so NERVOUS for them...

F.Y.I i had just had a great prom nite at aranda country club last monday in downtown east...it took me 2 hours taking public transportation to go there...my feet are crying in pain as i am wearing about 5-7 inch heels....its killing me but for beauty sake i do it.....prom nite was the BOMBZ!!!!had a great and enjoyable day that nite and everything goes well....the dj was great..he was HILARIOUS!!!love him to the max!!!the food was ok-ok though....dancing was the major,i say MAJOR BOMBZ!!!1everyody had a great dance....my classmate broke her heels while dancing...but guess what?she continued dancing bare footed!!!!i danced with my gf that nite...it was so fun!!feel as if we are clubbing....lastly the prom king is imran and the prom queen is a chinese girl from sec 5...the event finishes at 10.45-11.00pm and my mum can't stop calling me!!how irritating!!!!i go home on my gf parents car...



Thursday 25 October 2007

blue colour for the day...


blue is the colour for today.....and the picture i had just post is lily allen....anything that is interesting today besides the exam paper is america next top model and something interesting about my sis.....i had just finish eating dinner with my family....nothing much can be said today except that just now i go out with my pal,shidah after exam ard cwp....she had her pimple near her mouth burst into blood...(hehes)pity her...actually my inetntion to go to cwp is to collect the photos my mum had ask too...but after that shidah ask me why not we go round the cwp for window shopping and i end up coming home late...aniway it was fun....we talk about many things eg:like what we will be doing after exam....and so on..and how we are going to miss school....
okay today geography ppr was quite tough although i must say it is manageable...except WITH THE ROCKING TABLE WHICH IRRITATES ME!!!!when i see the paper i am going to cry...the map was difficult...okay i do not want to talk about that..it is already over anyway...just now my sis ngigau...or should i say had a bad dream...she wake pu scolding my mother because she thought it was already seven in the morning...my mother and i was already laughing like hell...hehes...
this saturday my cuzins will be coming over...my granparents too are coming i guess...so i had actually asked my mum beforehand to cook laksa penang which is my favourite..i had crave it for a long time beside the timeout chocolate....tom my mom will be going to wet market..i will not be following of course as i always wake up late at 12pm in the afternoon....i'm having stomachache now..hehes..due to too much eating...but my body is still like stick and my mum had been commenting on how small my sis and my own boobs compared to her when she is sec 5 when she had big boobs and how mampat she was...eeergghhh!!!it is so frustrating....if one day i done boobs augmentation i want to see her reaction...hah!!don't get offended after reading this okay...
gotta go go now...i want to surf the net...and mayb play some barbie games or any dress up games..hahas!!!
♥mr a.....
♥i love you....i think...

exams,exams and exams!!!!!!!!!

Life is one long struggle in the dark.

tom is my geo exams for o lvl....i can't help but worry whether i am going to do find since not much preparation had been done as i had been focusing on studying for my chemistry...aniwae today chemistry was fine and manageable...it is not as tough as i had expected though i do not have high expectations of it since i'm afraid that i might dissappoint myself....overall everything that i study had come out which was a major relief....beyond that everything is fine...(i think)hope to do well this time....



i had been such a spender this few days..i can't seem to stop spending money...my 'duit raya' had finished due to all the spending....now i readed to buy this snakeskin show at outfitter at cwp which match with my handbag which i decided to bring to the prom...its all about prom now....i just bought 3 necklaces,4 earings and 2 hairclips just now!!in one day....i spend almost up to $15...what the heck..i'm trying to save my money...but it seem i just can't...my sis had been noisy about finding work but both my parents object to it since she is still studying...(haha!!!!)right now my major celebrity obsession is lily allen..she is so cute...like her song too...anyway i'm going off to do some more studying now..wish me luck kaes!!!


Thursday 18 October 2007

o level practical

There is a strength of a quiet
endurance as significant of
courage as the most daring feats of prowess.
firstly i want to wish all the muslims SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI!!!Maaf zahir dan batin....i have not been updating my blog lately cause i had been preoccupied with the upcoming exams!!!(i'm shivering and quivering while typing this...donnoe why...)had been down with bad flu and headache..tissues all over the house...all was down with the flu except for mum and and my sis,haziqah....my prelim result was DISASTROUS!!!!can't bear to tell my mum...my sis had receive her result for final year exams...she did very well!!!though she kept complaining the ppr was hard and terrified that she will be retained...but she kept getting A1 for most of her pprs...which i am proud of....basically cause she is my sis...and i am very..SUPER DUPER HAPPY!!!!for her...well done sis...:)

just now was combined sci practical....i was supposed to be seated nxt to the person i hate most...which i name him mr s....i just hate him since sec 1.....the ppr was SUPER DUPER HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I CAN'T EVEN MANAGE TO DO IT..!!WHO IS THE STUPID FELLOW WHO SET THIS PPR BY THE WAY!!!.I put it using caps lock cause i am practically shouting like mad...in my head....and iam dhouting on behalf of my classmate...plis don't sue me or anything....lot of things happen todae and i can't put it into words or it will a whole page long..cant wait to watch ghost whisperer tom which is my current obsession and american next top model too...todae at 10.30pm...by the way my sis friends are coming over...dadas...lots of luv...dirah...

pss...don't expect me to update anytime soon cause nxt wk is my o levels..wish me luck kaes:)muackzz....
and i have found my new perfect stranger...actually not a stranger...a clue...mr a...only 2 person in the whole wide world noe this and u know who u are....but i'm not quite sure whether he is the one..confused rite...
i'm still confused about myself rite now....still searching for my identity....


♥hey mr
♥i love you...almost.



Sunday 23 September 2007

fast

Satisfaction lies in the effort,
not in the attainment.
Full effort is full victory.
finally exams was over but the major Os are coming and i am dead scared!!i only had start revising maths which i think was okay because i want to start with my weakest link first follow by sci.geo.and so on...had been tired lately and my part time job is sleeping till i was scolded...how can i not be tired...we wake up at 5.00am...everyday....sometime i does not sleep cause i need to go to school..i admit this yr fast it a little bit more tiring than last year...and i like last year better...

luckily today i cannot fast because of ehm ehm...today my mum cook soto...a traditional food which is my favourite and also hers.......haiz..had been studying like mad..not madlah but the n level student got 4 more subject to go and they will get their result on 7 december07...this yr will be the first yr will be having prom night and ours is the first badge!!!yeah!!!!and it will be on our graduation day which is 19 november,3 days after my bdae that is......klah...tatas....:)

♥hey perfect stranger
♥i love you

Wednesday 19 September 2007

arsenal

Life is like a beautiful melody,
only the lyrics are messed up.
todae was a tiring day.....had two pprs todae....maths ppr 2 and phy ppr 2...maths ppr was bloody fucking hard...the pppr can kill me instantly and i could die of hard attack right then...they say its for ur own good....but it was too hard too do....2hr30mins is not enough sei....but gd news phy ppr 2 was managable compare to that bloody fucking chemistry ppr...who the hell set that ppr??tom i will not be required to go to school as tom is a maths ppr 2..yeah!!!!at last...but friday is the last ppr....which is poa...ppr 1 and ppr 2....

the day before i spukrge my money on two magazine...which is cleo and seventeen...seventeen october issue was not bad...it was d-i-y issue..so not bad..cleo was gd..more to fashion...looking foward to nxt issue....aniwae arsenal manager is soo cute!!with his accent...i think probably german...his name is arsen something...can't remember...kaes gtg...

♥hey perfect stranger
♥i love you

Saturday 15 September 2007

Worry not about the possible troubles of the future;
for if they come, you are but anticipating and adding to their weight;
and if they do not come, your worry is useless;
and in either case it is weak and in vain,
and a distrust of God's providence.
i can't help but worry about the o level exam..i'm thinking whether i can manage to do the o level ppr...whether i am able to go to polytechnic with my result as maths and science is like the foundation and basics that you must have before going to polytechnic...i'm weak in both...so thats it i think but i will try cause it is less than 1 month i think and i hope that i can manage to study all the relevant things...i especially want to see improvement in science and maths and combined humans...especially social studies cause i study like hell for it...hoping this o level ppr is easy and manageaable or else i will be seeing myself retaking o level nxt yr...hoping not too...

Friday 14 September 2007

mosque

To rule one's anger is well;
to prevent it is still better.
i just reach home from mosque and sheng shiong...and my grandparents house......i was so damn tired....i feel like sleeping rite now..i am having gastric right now...i can't wait to get back at my sis for she was having fun right now watching a play at esplanade while i am stuck here doing her chores..if i am not fasting todae i do not mind..but i am fasting and it was tiring u know..i feel like gulping a large cup of water....luckily my mum fetch my lil' sis...she knew i was pissed off because of my face...my face shows no expression watsoever...i show her what-the-heck face of mine and she know it weel enough not to say anything....i bought red instead of green chilli just now and i was scolded..anyway its not my fault....she knows i am not in the mood to do go anywhere and yet she insist on me going..so this is what she get..she can't scold me or anything..she nag for a few seconds and after that keep her mouth close upon seeing what-right-do-you-have-to scold-me face...i should do that more often...

i feel like crying all of a sudden now....u know what i mean...my hands was shivering and is sivering right now cause i was hungry...can't wait to break face.....klah...update tom if i have time...:)) :((

hey perfect stranger
i love you

PMS

When angry, count ten before you speak;
if very angry, one hundred.
Author: Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus)
Todae i was So having pms...i don't know why but i keep scolding ppl throwing things everywhere..i mean .not supposedly everywhere...just little things..i will make a big fuss over a small thing and after that i will feel like crying...don't know why but is normal...last night my mum kept nagging which make my so pissed OFF!!!i throw thigs everywhere...y must she kept nagging even in the middle of the night?mothers are all the same i guess...they just can't stop nagging..it is a part of them maybe...

todae was el ppr 2...the ppr was quite okay..the summary and vocabulary was okay but questions were difficult....can score on vocab and summary...nxt monday will be food and nutrition and geography!!urrghh!!both need a lot of memorisation...it sucks man when they put two papers at one day which require lot of memorisation...aniwaes did i mention todae was the second day of fasting..i was so tired and sleepy...straight way after changing my clothes i sleep till 1pm..i had ask my mum to woke me up at 12pm cause i want to watch dress of your dreams at discovery channel but she doesn't wake me up...nvm...aniwae my ppr finish early todaes at 9.40am...

need to go to sheng shiong and go to mosque to take porridge for my father and need to buy kway teow...to cook for later...aniwaes miss american next top model yesterday!!!todae want to watch my favourite televison programme which is ghost whisperer!!!!on channel 5..thats the only ghost stories i am not afraid off....jennifer love hewiitt was so hot!!!kaes gtg now...dadas!!muackzz...<3<3<3<3

♥hey perfect stranger
♥i love you

Thursday 13 September 2007

bdae party....

Love ceases to be a pleasure,
when it ceases to be a secret.
okaes..it had happened a few days ago just the day before school reopen which is on sunday,8 of september.....i had to attend to my cuzins bdae party...or should i say mini bdae party...only 2 familie were there...which is my cuzins family and my family except that my dad wasn't there as he got to paint some pipes in the kitchen toilet...okies..straight to the point,i was wearing this tube purple dress which was gorgeous and it cost only about $5.50..i wore it with my long sleeve white t-shirt...and there was this wedding ceremony down at my block..my sis and i spot some gorgeous or should i say themost HANDSOME!!!guy in the world....he was sitting in a clique..with his cuzins mayb..i guess his age was 18 years old...my sis and i walk pass them cause we had to...and suddenly heard ppl calling...and my sis and i saw the guy atually trying to catch up with us....my heart was racing and pumping loudly as he approaches us...my stomach was full of buterflies which actually sucks sometimes...hehes:)

i realise he was catching us up to ak for our number,and although i insisit of giving it to him..at last i give it to him after he desperately beg us...(i think this part was exxagerating)my heart flutters...and i thought that was in somekind of heaven....hahax!!!!i think he is a mix of blood...he asked for our name and all...but i stupidly doesn't ask him his name....so now i labelled him as the perfect stranger....aww!!!now my heart is fluttering and i can't keep my minds of him this days...haix...love at first sight it may seem..but i just guess it is puppy love...can't wait to find my mr RIGHT...though i may seem desperate rite now...and i think i am cause everybody is asking me if i am attached...i was stressed up lah ser!!!!

but i want to focused on my studies first...but after much anticipation..he does not call us or even msg tough i keep waiting at my handphone day and night thinking stupidly whether he will even do that...that perfect stranger...maybe if we are destined together we will meet again...aniwaes meet my anak sedare,shakira!!!she is so damn adorable...!!!!her face look totally chinese and she is labelled as the mall baby cause she does not like to stay at home and only like to stay at the mall...she is cute rite!!!!aniwaes her father is a chinese.....

i think that i will not be updating soon...may be untill after exam..just not quite sure yet...will upload picture then...muackzz...and happy fasting!!!!

♥hey perfect stranger
♥ i love you

earthquake

so yesterday was rather bored at home...i was squeezing my mahts,physics and chem notes till my brains felt like bursting!!!!i was doing my maths when suddenly i fell the my room shaking...at first i thought it was me...going dizzy and all...cause i fell like fainting...then all of a sudden i realise that it was not me,but it was the ground which is shaking...scared like mad lah ser!!!i rush to my sis room to ask if she feel it....she feel it too..rush to my mum who is in the kitchen...but she insist she doesn't feel anything until suddenly the ground shook again and my mum's vase aws like shaking....she was like panicking at was asking us to evacuate out of the house..i was wearing my shorts..so quickly change to my jeans and quickly get out...while i was going down the stairs can still feel the earth shaking...so damn scared!!!i think i will continue tom...el ppr coming up...ppr 2...dadas...aniwae todae is the first day of fasting...i had no mood to update actually but force myself too...hahax!!!!

This thought has be occupying my mind for a while now.Does it have ever come across ones mind that one day they will be someone influential....