There's a ton of thing that i want to pour out...just bear with it kay...hehes:p

9th april:it's when i met him...he is okay lah...but now writing it out made me feel dirty...
I want to apologise to alya if she is reading this cause i don't tell her the whole, like exact story....
firstly:i was like having a headache like hell and i feel like vomitting as i have nt been eating properly due to my sore throat and he like force me to meet him knowing my state that i am in on that day...and i have to LIE to my mum which i am truly feeling bad about...and when i reach there with ais,sab and farid he was like not happy....i know its like our first meeting...but you don't need to be like mrh and unhappy...it's like HELLO!!!sab&ais are my friends..they are just concern about me, knowing what you can do...i don't want to stab him in the back or mengaibkan dier...if you are in my position you will understand....and when i meet him,he was like smoking and talking to me like facefront and the smoke all on my face...so rude lah ser...so rude,i feel like just slapping him and abandon him there... biar padan muker dier...remember my conversation with alya on the way back from esplanade...its not like we dont allowed you to smoke..if you want to smoke,smoke lah and puff all your want until your lung expired...but do it at home lah...so bloody rude...so not a GOOD first impression and this is not the way to ATTRACT girls...and i hear this talk on youtube by ustaz ismail kamus about jin...Jin feeds on smoke....and those who smoke is like a Jin by itself...want to laugh just thinking about it though i am so stressed that time...and by now,my mom know about the whole story minus the house part...she is so understanding....maybe like alya said,my mum may be proud of her daughter for not doing anything sinful and know how to take care of ourselves reaching our adulthood years...

then, after all of them leave us alone and go home...talk a while and he is ask ME to go to his house...EMPTY house for your info...i just go and thought we will like just talk2 on the chairs but he ask me to LAY beside him while we watch tv...and i RELUCTANTLY do so..thinking what a sin i am doing and praying to god so that my virginity will not be taken cause he is like so weird...in my mind i am imagining things like will he give me a drink and pour some weird stuff at the drink....but luckily that didn't happen...i just want my mum to save me that time...and he like touching my arms which is fine...then later he suddenly massage my head without my permission...and asking me to LAY nearer to him and like lift me up so that i can be neare with him...MAN!!!this man is asking for a slapping..luckily i have my excuse of being sick to show my unhappy face...and also he ask for a kiss..muker macam tak tau malu SAK!!!!kan dah out...i was like just joking with him and he take it seriously...i am pretending to be a short-term-memory person...haha!!!:p

enough of it...i hate thinking about it...he's not what i think he is...seem so decent but he's like this...oh my...i might start again...

10 april:
skipping issues we had on that day before our trip...on the way going to botanic garden it rains...skipping the issues that we had again...ride a bus from esplanade and go to mount faber...AGAIN for the third time skipping the issues we had....i was thinking this was like the worst trip ever...but we learn from mistakes...at the end of the day we enjoy ourselve there..me and alya camwhore throughout the day...basically alya was the photgrapher...hehes....i like alya...she is so so CUTE and PRETTY....took turns on taking photo but mostly i was like the item of the shoot cause we also have to shoot photos for sab compeitition...alya is a photographer wannabe...:)sab,with her boyfriend...me with alya and manjer alone...pity manjer but we saw her playing games on sab's bf laptop....later go to esplanade and watch this like mini A-C-A-P-P-E-L-L-A...on esplanade waterfront...the mini-like sort of gig was ok...especially the song bunga sayang compose by dick lee...later went to marina square to walk2 and also alya want go to crocs to buy shoes....but the shop was closed by the time we arrive there...so instead we walk around other places and alya bought this PRETTY bag...lawar sgt...i like....and a headband...the bag is so cheap...its the bag i have been looking all this while....

reach home at 11 plus finding my whole family watching susuk at sensasi...and my small siblings are sick...haiisshh...all my plans for saturday went down the drain...hmmpphh...:(

and i want to mention something...sab's boyfriend face is like the same as nur....urrggh...and it is bloody irritating cause i am constantly reminded about him making it more painful to forget about it...that's why i am trying to run away and avoid from seeing his face...sorry sab...the sound of motorbike,choa chu kang and number 409 makes me sick....

things may seem so painful and confusing...and i realise how much it has set me thinking...later when we look back, this may seem like the most stupidiest thing that we had done and laugh over it...i'm so ashamed of myself..its like he's on my past now...not worth thinking..its time to move on with live and focus on studies and more important things.....though my thoughts of him is not entirely erase, its just not worth it...seems like he have the whole package...but sometimes not all things may end with a happy ending like fergie's song...big gir's don't cry...so my ost....small little things that may not seem important to him, may be important to me...and furthermore i don't want a guy who lives on coffee and cigarettes during lunch....so unhealthy...

pictures will be uploaded from the outing...but not now...cause it is 3.20am in the morning....

love songs are killing me...but i'm hook on class 95...haiiisshh...